My Other Child

I write about my two littlest children all the time. I do have an older one though. He’s nine. He’s going to be a scientist when he grows up… a DNA mutating scientist to be specific. He reads science books about anthropology, outer space, and all things repulsive. He also really likes The Diary of a Wimpy Kid but I explain to him, that wimpy is not really a nice word. Some kids, like him, are “highly sensitive children” and that that’s actually a good thing, that will make him an amazing adult.

His name is Noah. He’s half grown up now.

It went too fast.

Sometimes, when I’m laying with my daughter Ayla, I squint and pretend for a moment that she is Noah. Their features are similar enough that if I squint, I can live in the past for just a moment. It usually ends with a sadness, as I wonder who I will squint with when my youngest child is nine.

I am highly immersed in the world of infants and toddlers because of my blogging for Everything Birth. There is a whole other part of me that I don’t share on here though that you will all become one day if you aren’t already. If you don’t already know:

It happens too fast.

Right now, I listen to nearly endless monolouges about Ben 10 creatures and Spy Gear. Yesterday, I sat with my fingers on a lie detector testing machine as my nine year old questioned me about the missing chunks of his chocolate bar. (Not really sure why it said I was lying… broken piece of junk.)

Instead of being asked, “What’s Dat?” I get asked way harder questions like, “Why is Jagger so mean to me?” or “What happens when you die?” and “How do you kiss a girl?”

It went by too fast.

If only I could squint and go back in time… I’d burn each smell, touch and tiny, unrecognizable word into my memory.

-Dawn Papple

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7 Responses

  1. Crying now, and my oldest is only 2.5.

  2. Cheers to Noah, and thank you Dawn for this.

    My oldest turned 13 last month. He too wants to be a scientist, and loves all thing herps(that’s boy language for reptiles and amphibians combined)
    I have actually had people ask me if he is ok because i don’t talk about him much.

    I am completely blown away by how quickly they grow, and what an incredible young adult he is becoming.

    His name is Zedekiah- “Zed”

    thanks Dawn, for getting us to stop and think….. and cry a bit!

  3. i have 4 kida and my oldest is 8 then its 4, 3 and 3 mos it is har becuase i got my tubes ties this time around because we’ve found that no form of birth control works for me lol. and even thought i was one of those teens who never wanted to have kids now that i got them its a diffrent story. but the point is that i do have boughts where i simply break down n bawl because i know that i will never have another baby and even though my hubby thinks im nuts becuase i do complain alot about having so many kids at once. it is very sad to know that for the first time since i was 18 that i will not have some snuggly whiney most of the time wet for some odd reason lil one ties to my hip. and makes me wonder who i will be when they are all in school. for sure it will be a totaly change in everything i have been in my adult life!

  4. Hmmm, that chocolate bar… seems like Noah needs a new polygraph machine…

    Dawn, I’m sure a zillion people will let you squint at their babies for years to come. I will, and you can even cuddle with them whenever you want. 🙂

  5. Angie… leave it to you to catch that part in particular. You’re awesome.

  6. Dawn, i think part of the reason we DON’T remember each smell, touch and tiny, unrecognizable word is by design – because it would be too painful – it would be mourning a person who no longer existed over and over again as they pass through each stage

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