Being a Mother: In Life and Death.

I have been so sad lately.  In August I found out that one of the most amazing moms in my life had cancer.  Not just any cancer, stage 4 all over her body.  She chose no treatment.  Her husband died six weeks ago, and Pinky died this past Saturday.   I was at her funeral this morning.

I was blessed to grow up living next door to such an incredible woman.  My very best friend in the whole world is Pinky’s youngest daughter of six children.  Five daughters and one son.  With the instability I was experiencing in my own home (my parents divorced when I was four), at times it was comforting to be a part of another family.  I can look back now and I realize how their love and stability influenced my life.

During the funeral the priest explained a mothers love in the most beautiful way.  He compared being a mother to being the sun.  In life a mothers love is bright and strong.  It warms you and you can feel this love all over all the time.  When a mother dies it is like the sun setting.  The sun goes down below the horizon and you yearn for the sun and the warmth and the feeling of that special love.  Darkness becomes sadness.

(This is the part that gave me chills and wells up tears in my eyes while I am writing this).

Even though that sun is gone, it has not disappeared.  We must not forget the moon.  Without the sun you would not see the moon.  After the sun has set and there is darkness and sadness, we can only then see the moon as a reflection of the sun.  Yes its light has changed, but the presence of the sun is still there.  Reflecting back at you. You can no longer feel the rays of the sun, but it still showers its light upon you.  The moonlight is strong, bright, and beautiful.  It is always there.

Part of the reason I am the mother I am is because of the bright shining light of Pinky.  In life and in death she will guide me to be a strong, caring, and loving mother.  I love you Pinky.

-Jessica

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